Protecting myself from prostate cancer, one chilli at a time

I know this is exactly how I got my first stomach ulcer. (When I was 16 or so, I went through this phase where I would get through one of those family size bottles of Tabasco in about a month and a half. Try it. About 10 slugs of Tabasco on 2 minute noodles. God DAMN that's good). Anyway, knowing that this may cause me pain, I gotta say, I can NOT stop myself eating those yummy picked chillies from a jar. Every day, out they come from the fridge and sit on my desk at work, where I end up picking out painfully burning after painfully burning chilli. And I'm not even deterred by the fact that it will burn the next day. Like a ring of fire. Even now as I write this, there is a little burning sensation on the outside of my lips.

Hey, at least I'm making absolutely, 100% sure I will never get prostate cancer. Eating chilli's to protect myself from prostate cancer. HOOTENANNY!