Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Bring Me Food. Now. (a.k.a May I have another bag of pork scratchings please?)

I'm not diabetic, nor do I think I'm hypoglycemic [A quick aside: having just read the wikipedia definition, I'm a bit concerned about this sentence:

"Hypoglycemia can produce a variety of symptoms and effects but the principal problems arise from an inadequate supply of glucose as fuel to the brain, resulting in impairment of function (neuroglycopenia). Derangements of function can range from vaguely "feeling bad" to coma and (rarely) death."

Derangements?? Death?? Eek!]

However, whenever I am in a really bad, filthy, wanting to throw puppies down cellars and leave them there because they'll only grow up to be emotionally dependent animals, I find that having a bit to eat calms me down right away (ok, so maybe I am a bit hypoglycemic). So after being in a foul temper all morning, which included:

a) shouting at people, for no other visible reason than they were sitting there breathing
b) turning into Godzilla, and throwing a massive 410 page spec at my desk and smashing the stack of paper dividers that I carefully arrange on my desk to look like city skylines when I'm bored.

I went out to get lunch, mostly so I could swear quite loudly (including using the words "dog-fucking wanker") without being asked into a meeting about my anger management issues, and 5 minutes after I'd eaten found that I'm in a much calmer mood.

So when I asked someone to bring me something else to eat, I found out how superficial computer geeks can be:

Me: "So why can't I have anything else to eat"
Geek: "You can't sit there eating all day you know"
Me: "Why not? Why is it not socially acceptable to sit and eat bags and bags of pork scratchings, until you become so lardy that they have to airlift you out of your house, and you need to wash yourself with a cloth on a stick?"
Geek: "Because if you ended up like that, we won't like you anymore. We really are that shallow"


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Is that me? I object to being refered to as geek. Besides we wouldn't like you any more. k