Sunday, July 16, 2006

Superman Returns.. and so does my stupid crush on him


Yes it's true. Oh yes and it is so, so, so fucking sad. I am looking at myself with a new level of self loathing as I realise that the reason that I've moved all the documents on my desktop into nice organised folders isn't because I'm tidy but it's because they were obstructing the view of my new Superman background!

I've just been to see Superman Returns at the Imax, and I have say it's a pretty good movie! I really enjoyed it, but then again, this is from the girl who can recite you all the words from Superman II. They had all the original music, and that pretty much was enough to keep a stupid smile on my face. However having come home, I have this horrid dawning realisation that the wierd feeling in my gut isn't because I'm suffering some nasty side effects from too much salt in the large bucket of popcorn I helped demolish, but from a fear that I'm developing a high school like crush on Superman... And this crush isn't even necessarily on Brandon Routh (though he is helping) but on bloody Superman himself!! How fucking sad am I? What level of randomness have I sunk to? I mean SUPERMAN? He's not even the dark man of mystery, anger and gadgets like Batman, or the funny man like the Flash. He doesn't have problems juggling his life and saving people like Spidey does, nor does he have any of the bad boy qualities of Wolverine... I mean he's the fucking uber good guy! He wears his undies on the outside of his jeans!! He fights for truth, justice and all that crap! I usually hate that... But now he comes with bags and bags of angst! And that just fucking KILLS ME!!

And unfortunately I have previous on this too. Back in high school (where this sort of thing would be more acceptable) I had a really random dream where I was talking to Superman (back in the Dean Cain days) on a pay phone, asking him questions about himself, when I then suddenly felt dizzy and said that I was going to faint. However before I hit the floor, Superman rushed in and saved me, then we flew off together, like he does with Louis Lane in Superman II. I went gaga for Dean Cain for years after that...

Oh god, I have reached new levels of sadness... I pray that this is a reaction from too much salt, in which case I say bring on the high blood pressure, bring on the health problems, but please do not bring on a new obsession about the Big S. Because having a crush on a superhero really does push you so far into the land of the geeks and nerds that you'll never be able to come back.... God damn it!! I've just looked at my desktop again. If only he wasn't so god damned cute!

2 comments:

Andrew said...

Hey, super hero relationships could have lots of advantages over real people:
- Less messy when you get over him.
- None of that commitment silliness to contend with.
- You know if you run out of propane he can finish the steaks with his super powers.

Go easy on yourself. What's the harm?

Trying to "Panda" said...

I suppose the harm could be if he ended up being a jealous/spiteful guy, who then took his rage out on you. Then those cool laser beams he used to use to cook souffle would turn into painful laser beams of death as he takes his revenge out on you.

But then again he is Superman, and he wouldn't do that. Mostly because he's not real..