Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Cycling past, seeing Jean Luc Picard

I've lived in London for about 5 years now, and I have to say that the number of times I've seen a famous person has been abysmal low. The only 2 famous people I've seen whilst meandering around town has been:

  1. Scary Spice roller blading around Regents park. She realised we were looking at her and started to do some pathetic attempts at roller blading tricks. Unfortunately she didn't fall over and break her back ad legs in multiple places. Pity really.
  2. Stephen Fry near Soho, with cute boyfriend in tow.

However, today, I hit the big time baby! I had the male equivalent of seeing Kylie Minogue in the street! Whilst I was cycling to work along the Thames, I noticed a bald man, with a baseball hat jogging in front of me. As I was coming up to him I thought "gee he looks a bit like Patrick Stewart". As I got next to him I thought "no, he really does look like Patrick Stewart". As I passed him, I took a good look (and slowed right down) and thought "OH MY GOD!! I'M CYCLING NEXT TO PATRICK STEWART! I'M CYCLING NEXT TO PATRICK STEWART!!!"

PATRICK STEWART! I mean WOW!! Captain Jean Luc Picard of the Starship Enterprise!! Professor Charles Xavier!! Captain Ahab! The gay guy in Frasier!!! I LOVE Patrick Stewart! He is so cool in all his bald glory!

Naturally I didn't talk to him. I would never talk to him for several reasons, some of them rashional, some of them, well... Here are my top 6 reasons for not stopping and chatting to Jean Luc Picard:

  1. I don't want to talk to my heros, because what there is no way my heros are going to be anyway near as nice in real life as they are in my head. I mean, I doubt that Patrick Stewart, in the middle of his morning jog would say "Oh hi you slightly scary girl who can't stop grinning like she's just broken out of a mental isylum and is doped up to the eye balls. Why don't you come and join my circle of friends, and you can step of the daily mediocracy that is the very definition of your life and hobnob with other Star Trek actors!"
  2. I wouldn't want to distrub Patrick Stewart whilst he was excercising...
  3. What if it wasn't him? I mean, I am about 99.999% sure it was him... If it wasn't.. how embarrasing..
  4. I think there was another more beefy guy running behind him... if that was his body guard the last thing I want to get thrown off my bike, and dangled by the ankles into the Thames, because I dared to say "oh. My. GOD! You're Patrick Stewart!".
  5. I don't want to look like all those other sad pathetic geeks who see one of their favorite Starfleet captains and go all gaga. I have self restraint. Even though I had the dumbest grin on my face the entire ride to work, I can hold my head up high and rise above those other geeks and nerds.
  6. (mostly) I'm a big fat coward.
Pity though.... I would have loved to have asked for his autograph and have him say "Alright, make it so". I would have died right there on the spot. I'm such a sad geek.

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