I had to go to the hospital today to get some blood tests done because my doctor has no idea what's wrong with me, so in an attempt to cover her arse, she's put me down for one of everything.
This is a conversation, trust me, you never want to have with the nurse whose holding a needle to a major artery in your arm.
Nurse: "Ok come sit down and we'll take some blood."
Me: (sit in chair, slightly shaking with fear) "Ok, just have to say I hate needles."
Nurse: "You hate needles eh? Why?"
Me: "I dunno, I just don't like them I guess" (hey stupid me, of all my fears, I thought that one was actually rational, not like my fear of the tele losing reception and ghosts escaping from other dimensions).
Nurse: (stops, rests with the needles just above my arm, looks up at me with a glazed look in his eye) "Strange. I don't hate needles. I love needles. Needles bring me comfort."
Me: (eyes going wildly from side to side) "umm.. ok then..."
(and in my head shrieking) "OH MY GOD HE'S INSANE. HE'S INSANE. HE'S GOING TO MANGLE MY ARM AND VEINS RIGHT IN FRONT OF ALL THESE PEOPLE WITH A NEEDLE! I'M GOING TO LOSE MY ARM!! HELP HELP!!!".